


Forgiveness

by ThatEsqCrush



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fucking, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatEsqCrush/pseuds/ThatEsqCrush
Summary: Set during The Undiscovered Country. Rafael's on trial. You have decisions to make.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Reader, Rafael Barba/You
Kudos: 13





	Forgiveness

You stared at the pregnancy test. It was positive. You put it down on the sink and picked up the second test. Two pink lines. You were pregnant. Your eyes watered. What should have been an extremely happy moment was filled with dread and anxiety.

“Well,” you mumbled. “If your daddy ends up in prison, at least I won’t be alone.”

The knock on the door startled you, causing you to drop the test on the floor. The plastic clattered against the tiled floor.

“Y/N? Are you ready? We have to go. I need to meet Dworkin in 30 minutes,” you heard Rafael state from the other side of the door.

“Uh, just a minute. I will be right out,” you called out. You picked up the fallen test and the one on the counter and threw them in the trash, and covered them with crumpled toilet paper. You flushed and washed your hands before giving yourself a once-over in the mirror. You straightened your black shift dress and exited.

“I’m meeting your mamí outside the courthouse yes?” You asked, walking up to your boyfriend who was tying his tie. He kept messing up and you could hear his patience thinning. You swatted his hands away and helped tie his tie.

“Yes,” Rafael stated looking down at you. You gave him a small smile while finishing the tie and then smoothed it. You could see how nervous he was. Your heart was breaking for him, for your relationship, the future, the unknown.

“This could be the last time together,” he said softly and you tried to not lose it.

“I know,” you replied, your voice cracking. “Te amo.”

Rafael leaned down to kiss you. “Y yo también. Te amo para siempre.”

You broke the kiss and hugged him, taking in his scent. You tried to burn it in your memory.

A few minutes later, the two of you exited the apartment building hand in hand.

—-

You sat in the gallery next to Lucia, her hand clutching yours. Never in your wildest dreams would you have pictured yourself in this scenario. You understood deep down why Rafael did what he did. Subconsciously you placed your other hand on your stomach and rubbed it. Lucia looked over at you and you smiled faintly. “Mi estomago,” you explained. “Estoy nerviosa.”

Lucia nodded. The door opened and the jury walked back in. She clutched your hand tighter.

—-

A sea of relief echoed through the courtroom as the not guilty verdict was read. Rafael shook Dworkin’s hand, thanking him before turning to Olivia who embraced him in a hug.

“¡Gracias a Dios!” Lucia replied, rushing up to hug her son. Rafael smiled wordlessly as he embraced his mother. He introduced his mother to Olivia and let them make small talk before excusing himself. Rafael made his way through the near empty gallery to the last row but he didn’t see you.

“Mami, have you seen Y/N?” Rafael asked, worried.

“She was just there,” Lucia replied, looking around for you. “Oh! She said her stomach was bothering her.”

“I’ll check the bathroom,” Olivia replied.

—

Your stomach recoiled again and you emptied its contents into the porcelain bowl once more.

“Y/N? Is that you?” You heard Olivia’s voice.

“Yes,” you replied meekly, sticking your head outside the door. “Just my nerves are shot. That’s all.”

“Let me help you,” offered Olivia but you shook your head.

“No. I’m fine. Look just tell Rafa that I will meet him home.”

—-

Rafael didn’t come home immediately. You were angry with him. Not because he didn’t come home. Just his actions, the whole ordeal. Again you understood why he did what he did but you couldn’t understand why he didn’t think of how his life, the lives of others would be impacted. It was selfish you knew in the grand scheme of things. But things could have gone terribly today and Rafael could have been awaiting a prison sentence.

You decided to go take a shower. You wanted your dress off and to just sleep. You let the hot water run over you and before you knew it, you had broken down and crumpled onto the floor into a heap and sobbed.

—-

Rafael entered your shared apartment. He placed his suit jacket on a nearby chair.

“Y/N?” he called out your name. He heard a muffled sound and called your name once more before he heard the shower running. “Y/N?” he called out once more, concern growing.

He turned the knob to the bathroom and the door gave no resistance. There you were in the corner of the shower, still sobbing. The water had turned cold and you shivered in between sobs.

“Y/N!” Rafael cried your name out loud before swooping in to turn off the shower, getting himself yet. He grabbed an oversized towel and covered you. He picked you up and you curled instinctively towards him. The sobs wracked your body, and Rafael could feel your hot tears.

Rafael carried you to bed draped the comforter over you, so you wouldn’t be cold while he dried you. “Cariño, talk to me.”

“I hate you Rafael,” you cried.

Rafael froze and gently placed your leg down. “You can’t be serious.”

“Okay, I don’t hate you but I am so angry. I wish I could but I can’t because I love you so damn much,” you replied before breaking down. “I could have lost you today. WE could have lost you.”

“But you didn’t. We had a good jury. Yes I am lucky… wait. Did you say we?” Rafael trailed off.

You sat up, naked, vulnerable. You drew your hands to your abdomen. “I’m pregnant.”

Rafael’s gaze dropped to your where your hands laid. “But you don’t look…”

“I know, I’m very early. Like 3 or 4 weeks,” you replied softly. “I think that’s part of the why I was sick in the courthouse earlier.”

“A baby… wow. Some timing.”

“And you could have ended up in prison!” You shouted bitterly. “And then what? We would have been alone.”

“That’s not true. You would have had my mom, the SVU team, your family.”

“Don’t you get it?” You seethed. “I just want you. And I almost lost you today!”

“But you didn’t,” exclaimed Rafael. “I’m here!”

You stared at him blankly.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Actually I spoke to McCoy about work and—“

“Rafael Barba, did you quit your job?! Tell me you didn’t quit your job.”

“I didn’t. But I am taking some time off.

A few weeks. I was thinking we could go somewhere, spend some time just us together.” Rafael cupped your face with one hand and with the other, pushed away the wet strands covering your face.

You shivered. “I’d like that. A lot.” You crawled into Rafael’s lap and nuzzled his neck. Rafael ran his hands down your sides before running them back up. He pulled your chin up, and looked into your eyes.

You sat up and moved closer before kissing him softly. “Make love to me.”

“Por supuesto.” Rafael replied before kissing you. His tongue traced the bottom of your lip, seeking permission to enter. You opened your mouth and your tongues dueled. Rafael pushed you gently down on the bed. “I’m going to take care of you,” he promised.

Rafael stood up and began to remove his clothes. Off came the vest, then the suspenders and shirt, followed by his pants. You watched him under heavy eyes, taking in the view. You hummed in appreciation. Clad just in his boxers, Rafael joined you back in the bed. He pushed you gently onto your back, placing kisses along your clavicle, moving down to your breasts. He ran his tongue over one nipple, alternating sucking and swirling. He grazed his teeth on your nipple, giving it a small nip. You moaned in pleasure, running your hands through his hair. Rafael gave equal treatment to your other breast while a hand reached down to your thighs. His fingers stroked your folds, feeling how wet you were becoming. You parted your legs and Rafael slipped a finger inside you. You moaned as he pumped his finger in and out of you. Another finger joined, then another. You gripped the sheets as Rafael continued his ministrations.

“Fuck, I am going to cum,” you moaned. You grabbed your breasts, tugging on your nipples. Your hips met Rafael’s finger thrusts.

“That’s it,” Rafael encouraged. His thumb rubbed your clit, and you felt your orgasm build and build before spilling over you.

“Oh yes, yes, Rafael!” you cried out, unraveling.

Rafael removed his fingers and before you could protest, his tongue was in between your legs, lapping at your wetness. His tongue traced your folds, before darting in and then back out. He shook his head and you groaned in pleasure.

“You taste like euphoria,” Rafael replied in between licks. He continued to lap you like a cat with a saucer of milk. You pulled at his hair, trying to somehow bring him closer you. His hair tickled your thighs.

Your second orgasm came quickly and you lost yourself to Rafael again. Rafael placed kisses as he made his way back up to you. You kissed him and tasted yourself on him. You reached down to grab him and he swatted your hand away.

“No amor; it’s all about you right now,” Rafael replied. He turned you onto your side, and laid directly behind you. You could feel his cock on your lower back, your back briefly wet from the pre-cum leaking from his cock. Rafael lifted your leg, and raised it and you hooked it around his butt. Rafael propped himself up on his elbow and slowly entered you. You both moaned at the sensation. You rested your head on your forearm while Rafael grabbed onto your thigh and began thrusting into you.

“You feel so good papi,” you mewled in pleasure. “Don’t stop.”

“Never,” Rafael promised in between thrusts. You looked back at him and you kissed each other.

“So tight, so wet. That’s all for me right princesa?”

“All for you,” you groaned, feeling your third orgasm. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Rafael reached down to your sensitive and swollen nub and roughly rubbed you. You shouted Rafael’s name as you came again. Rafael’s thrusts became more erratic and he followed soon after, chanting your name as if it were a prayer. Rafael’s thrusts slowed down until he came to a stop. Rafael reached down to slip himself out and you turned over to face him.

“Mi amor.” He gave you a sad smile. “Perdoname.”

“Ay Rafa, te perdono,” you replied, staring into his green eyes.

¿Qué puedo hacer para compensarte? Rafael asked. “I’ll do anything.” You placed his hands on your stomach.

“Just hold us and never let go.”

FIN.


End file.
